That’s it! I’m going to bed. Since when did Bey and Jay feel the need to make public statements about their private lives?

Since Solange went HAM on Jay Z and left the rest of the world wondering why. Let’s be honest though, that public statement seemed a lot like ‘Crinkum Crakum’ (see below for definition). Obviously the Carters shouldn’t tell us what really happened for the sake of their marriage, but curiosity didn’t stop the cat (remix).

 

The statement reads:

‘As a result of the public release of the elevator security footage from Monday, May 5th, there has been a great deal of speculation about what triggered the unfortunate incident. But the most important thing is that our family has worked through it. Jay and Solange each assume their share of responsibility for what has occurred. They both acknowledge their role in this private matter that has played out in the public. They both have apologized to each other and we have moved forward as a united family.

The reports of Solange being intoxicated or displaying erratic behavior throughout that evening are simply false. At the end of the day families have problems and we’re no different. We love each other and above all we are family. We’ve put this behind us and hope everyone else will do the same.’

 

That’s just a long-winded way of saying that this is a united front and please mind your own damn business.

What have we learnt from this?:

1. Nowhere but your own house is private and even then, we all know what happened to Donald Sterling.

2. That society wrongly excuses women for being violent towards men, but not vice versa.

3. Don’t pick your nose in the lift (I’m not American, it is not an elevator) because the security guard maybe watching.

Okay. That’s my detective work done. Just call me Olivia

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