Written by, Anne Akintola
1. Finding their rib
With reference to the biblical story of Adam and Eve, it can be difficult thinking about being that person that hasn’t got a girlfriend/ boyfriend. We start calculating the years we have until our ideal wedding age and consider whether that’s enough time to fall in love before marriage. Or we wonder that, this is not where we wanted to be, at this age. The trick is knowing that firstly, we know cannot predict the future. Secondly, even though it sounds so simple; do not to worry. Love happens in its own time, everyone is different. Some couples will be together for 4 months and know that’s who they want to be with for the rest of their lives and stay until death does part them.
2. Having that parent/ aunty/ uncle/ grandparent asking you the most annoying question.
“Why don’t you have a girlfriend/ boyfriend?”
The frustration with this question!!! Sometimes you’re happy being single or maybe it’s just not working out and you just don’t need this reminder.
It’s hard for this question not to get to you and you may think “what is wrong with me?” NOTHING is wrong with you. Just know that everyone has their own time. Being single is not a problem, most of our parents married young, but our generation is very different. Embrace being single and enjoy it! Your confidence can be attractive. Also, remember that when you do find yourself in a relationship take it seriously and date people with attributes you would want in a life partner.
3. The job after university
Life after university for some is not easy at all. Maybe you’re moving back home and you don’t yet have your dream job. It is not great when your friends ask you for a night out, but the way your account is set up…
Going from living independently to back at home with no job or without your ideal job can be heart breaking. Then to top it off your close friends have secured their dream position/ internship/ training contracts or whatever it may be. Even though you shouldn’t be jealous, you are. But you’re only human! Remember that guy that stood outside the tube station with CVs who made you think, “if only that was me!” Go do it too! If you’re too shy for that look for ways to stand out from others applying for the same job as you. Visit your careers advisor, you could even offer to work for free to gain experience.
4. Are you too old for this?
At a point there’s comes a time you should except that you are no longer about that life. It’s okay if you can’t go to that university afrobeats vs bashment rave. There are plenty of places more suitable for you. Google is your best friend so search away for events that you may prefer. Not everyday raving, sometimes weekend breaks with afternoon tea.
5. All my friends are travelling!
The Snapchats, Instagram and Facebook pictures really make you want to be there. You can do something about this! SAVE! Have a look at what you’re spending your money on, take-aways, fashionable clothes etc. and try to cut back. A friend told me once,
“When we were in secondary school, we saved for clothes and shoes, now we can save for travels”
I think this is so true, stop wondering why your friend is travelling everywhere and take everything out your ASOS basket and save that money! What’s better a holiday to Thailand or 5 pairs of the latest trainers?
6. I want to have my own business too
Everything is possible now: blogs, clothing lines, weave companies, catering companies etc. A lot of founders are successful and were once sitting in a position wondering what they could do to establish themselves. Hard work and dedication will help you to achieve your goals.
You may not even be the type to want a business of some sort, but just remember: everyone is a different kind of person. Some people are practical, creative, out-going etc. If you are not then it’s about knowing what kind of person you are. Your 20s are a great time to explore. Find out and work to those strengths.
Whatever problem you think you have with what you have achieved so far, it’s never too late, and the good thing is at least you are aware. Whether you’re 21, 26, 29 there are no rules for achievements at your age. No two people are the same.